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2:40 p.m. - 2008-02-10
I should be dead

I went for my 10 mile jog yesterday afternoon. No sweat! Beautiful day! Temperature in the 40s and blue skies. I got back in the house about 4pm and grabbed something to eat. I'd turned off the pellet stove before I left the house so I could clean it upon return. I cleaned it and fired it back up. Normally I keep the thermostat set in the low 60's. Since I'd turned it off completely for a couple hours it was just a little cooler than that. I started the bath water for a good soak. I turned on a little portable floor heater in my bathroom to warm the tile up in there a bit. Then I closed the door so the warm air wouldn't escape while I peeled off the wet running clothes. I wandered into the computer room, full of myself for so easily dusting off that 10 miles. I've got a little time off in May so I was looking for possible marathons. It was little premature but that never stops me. I went to the Running Times site and was going through their event listings. When I found one that looked interesting, I'd click on the link and investigate it. There's no telling how much time I spent doing this but at one point I finished off the bottle of water I was drinking and tossed it over my shoulder in the general direction of the garbage can. It missed the can and...splashed.
WTF?
OH SHIT!
THE BATHTUB!
So I splash into the hallway and fling open the bathroom door and water is pouring over the edge of the tub. I quickly shut the water off and wonder-what's that noise.
OH SHIT!
THE HEATER, AND I'M STANDING IN WATER!
I snapped the plug out of the wall and thanked blind shithouse luck I hadn't been electrocuted.
So now I'm standing in water, which has also invaded the utility room and kitchen by virtue of their shared walls, and thinking what the hell do I do with this? Also, by blind shithouse luck, it was early enough in the day for me to run out and rent a wet-vac. So I got it and got back and vacuumed up the water. I got up everything that was standing water. Somehow it didn't seem like enough. I'm sure it's in the cracks of the floors and baseboards so I had (still have) fans going in every room. I just realized it must have gone down the floor vent in the bathroom. So it's all sitting in the air ducts in the slab of my house. So now I've turned the furnace fan on constant blow. I don't know how long it'll take to dry it out and there's not really anyway for me to know how much is in there. I suppose as long as I get it dried out I won't be coming down with self-inflicted Legionnaire's disease. Anyway, it's going to sound like a wind tunnel in here for a few days. I'm goddam lucky I got off as light as I did. The run won't kill you, but look out for that bath afterwards.


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